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What killed Sridevi : The weight of unreal expectations?

This is not a sensation-seeking post on the lurid details of the Hindi film actress Sridevi's sudden, unexpected demise. She went away too soon, just at the peak of her acting abilities. Her mature, assured performance in her last films - English Vinglish and Mom, could give any world actress a run for her money. It's a terrible tragedy that has befallen her family, and her fans all over the world.

What I feel must be addressed in the unrealistic expectations we place on our idols, particularly screen idols. Since she was a beautiful sex symbol in her youth, "the first female superstar" in India, the weight of fan expectations fell even more on her, and to a certain extent on her successors, Madhuri Dixit, Karisma Kapoor, Aishwarya Rai, and the present lot of actresses.

We expect these women to be ever beautiful, ever enchanting, always scintillating with their presence and attitude. They should forever look perfectly turned out, wearing the best designers, sporting the most perfect of smiles. No hair should be out of place, and if it is, they must face the wrath of the fashion police. Style and fashion bloggers are always sharpening their knives to catch one wrong move of theirs. So their every move is scrutinized and dissected under a magnifying glass.

Can you imagine, what it must be like..to lead every second of your life under the glare of public scrutiny and possible disapproval?

They have their own demons to deal with as it is: the ravages of age, losing popularity, demands of their spouses and families, shrinking finances, and dwindling film offers.

In India, no one writes roles for the 30+ woman, leave alone the above-40. Our Hindi film industry is excruciatingly cruel towards its leading ladies. Once you are above 35, over the hill you go.  They must be offered mother and aunt roles only. Even if their acting prowess is as its height, no one wants to put money on backing a 35+ aged heroine venture. What a downfall it must be for these one-time divas, who had the public eating out of their hands at one time!

Added to that is the constant pressure to look perfect, show grace, talk sense (as they are invited to all kinds of high-level intellectual fora and meets), and generally live up to their once perfect image. What kind of lives do our actresses have? Do they always have to act out a set role? Can they never take it easy or relax in public glare?Their fans expect them to dance, act and perform perfectly on a day-to-day basis. Is that even possible?

People, they are humans, just like us. Yes, they are idolized or worshipped, but that does not make them God. They have flaws, faults and they have every right to stumble. Why do they need to live out their screen persona to get our admiration? Why can't we accept them with feet of clay, just like we accept our ageing heroes?

Our heroes walk around with grey in their hair and beards, receding hairlines, under-eye bags, tummy paunches etc. No one criticizes them for not looking or sounding like what they look or sound on screen.

Then why is the pressure only on the ladies? Why do our heroines have to go under the knife, get botox and facelifts done, become clotheshorses and preen and pout always?

On this women's day, do we even realize how much weight and stress our unreal expectations (and that of the media) place on these ladies? Can we give them a break please?

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