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Today was a somewhat momentous day for me - I wore a long skirt after ages. So what's so great about it, you will ask? Nothing, except that I had given up wearing western dresses after college. And that has been quite a long time. For no particular reason, I had decided that I would not wear anything but salwars and churidars, and on special occasions, a saree. No one had said anything; it was just another self-imposed restriction. Probably, because I felt safe in Indian stuff, or because I did not want to attract unwanted attention to myself. I was afraid of being seen as attractive, charming, desirable. And so the conditions persisted. I was hesitant of going against the norm...and against my perceived self-image of a respectable woman. What will people think? This was my response when hubby encouraged me to wear western stuff occasionally after marriage. Then after some years passed, I thought I was too old to wear such things. So here I was, a modern woman, rooted in tra

One of life's greatest pleasures is planning for some future activity that is likely to give us a lot of joy. More than the actual activity, it is the planning and preparing for it that charges our imagination. For example, planning for a trip, preparing for a vacation, planning a picnic or get-together, organizing a movie date or reunion with friends, the anticipation factor kicks us pleasurably. That's probably because there are a lot of factors involved that seem very pleasurable like: Deciding the venue or destination     Finalizing tickets or transport Packing for the trip or picnic Planning the itinerary or program schedule Anticipating reactions Human nature is mostly optimistic and future oriented. We like to think of the days to come as better than those we are currently undergoing. Also the very act of planning gives us a sense of control over the future reality. Things may turn out very different from what we plan, but that does not stop us f

Is it absolutely mandatory to win every argument? To be always proved right? I think sometimes it is better to give in. At the cost of sounding defeatist, I would stress that some arguments are worth losing. Sometimes the rift created by trying too hard to prove yourself right is not worth it. After all, it is my perspective, my perception of a situation and I may be wrong. There is always more than one right way of seeing things. Our perception is severely limited by various factors like personal bias, time, selective views, and attribution. Another point of view may be free from these perceptive factors. So that viewpoint may be more objective, more balanced than mine. When I cannot control my own incorrect or lopsided perceptions, or edit my mental filters, how can I be so sure of always being right? So I argue and defend myself and create dissenters, and go on with sheer lung power or better verbosity to win an argument. I bulldoze others to accept my judgement. But maybe