Helicopter Parents: You are Doing More Harm than Good!

Parents (particularly Indian parents) Beware! Are you always hovering over your child, checking whether he/she has eaten or not, whether he/she is studying or fooling around, or is constantly on the mobile or internet? Do you take all possible measures to see that your child doesn't get into trouble, to the extent of removing all obstacles in the way? If the question to all these has been yes, then you are a "Helicopter Parent".

The term refers to all well-meaning, sensible, rational human beings, who become suddenly unreasonable, obsessed and hyper-attentive to their children's well being. 

Source: Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

BTW, I think I am one of those too, and am trying my best to change.

Check out for the following warning signals:

1.   Are you checking out every half an hour on 

             a) whether your child has eaten or not?
             b) done his/her project or homework?
             c) is studying or playing games on the net or mobile?
             d) is asleep on time?

      2.  Do you take your child's decision for him/her? Like what classes he/she will join, or how 

           he/she will spend free time, or who they will spend their leisure time with? 

      3.  Do you know the details of each boy or girl who is in your child's friend's circle?

      4.  Are you always accompanying your teenage son/daughter to tuition/art/music/sports classes? 

      5.  When your child wants to hang out with friends, do you insist to be told of each detail of 

           where they will go, what they will eat, what they will do?

      6.  Do you know track each and every minute of your child's day, through CCTV or other 

           monitoring devices? 

As you read through these questions, you will yourself know if you are a helicopter parent. 

A helicopter parent suffocates a child with love and attention, and continuous monitoring. The child is not allowed freedom to exercise choice in the minutest of things.

Whenever the child attempts to think originally or differently, you either gently or harshly veer him or her to your point of view. The freedom to differ or not agree with you or your spouse is absolutely ruled out.

What happens then?  As a result, the child's initiative, originality and problem solving abilities take a severe beating. Used to being told what to do throughout childhood, he/she finds him/herself at sea suddenly in adult life. Independent decision making is something the child hasn't practiced at all. He/she becomes frazzled and bogged down by the responsibilities, trials and travails of daily living.

Now it's your choice. Either you back off a little, and give some breathing space to your child. Allow him or her to make decisions, and solve problems on their own. Or you shelter him/her throughout childhood and teenage years, and hope that he suddenly becomes wise and responsible once he/she turns eighteen.

You know the answer, right? Best Wishes and Happy Parenting!