Skip to main content

How bad is body shaming?


There's something I feel strongly about, and that is shaming or ridiculing someone for their looks/ weight/ height/ colour of skin/ age/ social standing/ English speaking abilities and sundry other reasons.

I have faced weight shaming in my adolescence, and it has left quite a mark on me. I was called moti, or plump, and wasn't included in hip circles. 


In college, I used to dress in salwar kameez, so I was labelled a behenji. When I donned skirt and top for a role in a college play, the girls went wow at my open hair, hip look. What a transformation, they said. Why don't you always dress like this? 

Because I value comfort over looks, I wanted to say. Because my mother only buys me traditional clothes. Because I travel to college in a DTC bus where leers and sundry "touching" were the normal routine. And even after covering up so much, I feel so exposed.

But I couldn't say all this, and just kept quiet, gloating in the praise and acceptance of my trendy classmates. It mattered so much that they thought I was hip too!


Today, I have accepted my flaws, and am confident in my skin. I don't feel the maddening urge to ""belong". 

But, you know what I face now? 

Age shaming. "Ohhh you are so old?" "Ohhh, poor thing, you don't have much stamina!" "At your age, even I would feel tired". You get the drift?

So, at whatever state or position or age we are in, criticism and sarcasm are a given. And unfortunately, it is we women who do it. 

As we come to the end of a festival worshipping Shakti, let's pledge to be kinder to each other. 


More accepting, more open, less judgemental. That will be true Devi worship.

Hail, Ma Durga!

#durgapuja

#worshipofshakti

#randomthoughts 



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Enough! No more rape!

The recent horrifying, stomach-churning incident in Kolkata is not a one-time aberration. It keeps occuring in our country. And we women are also responsible for this stinking rot in society. Ask yourself these uncomfortable questions. How many of you protest when a girl wearing "revealing clothes" is cat-called?  Did you show your support for our wrestlers protesting against a habitual offender? Did your blood boil when you saw pictures of our sisters in Manipur paraded naked?  When rapists are released from prison or routinely escape punishment, do you raise your voice? How many of you have tolerated violence or even casual sexism in your own home? Do you turn the other way when transgenders are leered at? Do you grin and bear it when the men in your family crack obscene jokes? Do Kathua and Hathras ring a bell? And lastly, how many of you thronged cinema halls to make misogynistic horrors like Animal and Kabir Singh blockbusters? I have asked myself and am distinctly feeli...

All We Imagine as Light- Lyricism on Celluloid

When an Indian film makes it the prestigious Cannes film festival, the world sits up and takes notice! And the lovely ladies swinging on the stage is a recent memory that brings a sense of pride. I had the good fortune to catch this film on screen recently. A review of such work is unnecessary, but still am bursting to say a few words. Right from the scintillating background score, to the events that unfold like pages fluttering in an open book, to the effortless performances, it's a masterpiece all right! The first half romances Mumbai- in the rains, at night, in the bazaars, in dingy rooms, in the local trains. Image source: Wikipedia  The second half shows what light truly is, brilliant sunshine, crashing waves and salty air in a small coastal village in Maharashtra. You can feel the taste of salt, the breeze in your hair and the touch of sand under your feet, the cinematography is so real. Payal Kapadia masters the art of holding back, of showing beauty in the mundane. The hosp...

All Work and No Life - Off Runs the Wife!

The recent ramblings of some elderly gentlemen (one a company founder, another a CEO) on how much we many hours we should be working, are symptomatic of all that is kaput with corporate India. The reason we have so few cases of innovators and path-breakers. The reason why Nadella and Pichai shine overseas. The reason start-ups and entrepreneurial attempts fail faster than you can say 1,2,3. These guys have got all the mathematics wrong!  Machismo and Hot Air I find these announcements to be glaring examples of the inherent tendencies of machismo, bullying, slavery, high-handedness privileged males in our country are used to.  At home, when raja beta works, rest of the family keeps quiet. When he needs food, wifey supplies it. Shhh, raja beta is sleeping, don't make noise. Don't irritate him, get him a cup of hot tea/coffee, quick, he's tired from working all day. You get the drift? The whole ecosystem in the workplace is designed to reward the raja beta slaving away rather ...