Writing isn't easy or immediately rewarding, but still I love to write. Maybe because I have so many things to share, so many anecdotes to tell, so many lives to vicariously live.
Would you like to know about my second book, and why I wrote it?
A glance at Fragrance of Dried Flowers
It is the imperfect people who
create happiness, build relationships with love, and seek solace within
themselves. If we, as parents, can contribute our bit by being less critical,
less judgmental, and more forgiving, the world would truly be a happier place.
Parents, particularly mothers,
have a strong role in shaping the lives of their children. A mother’s
unconditional love is critical in the life of a child. She can bolster her
child’s self-esteem with her kind words and constant support, or break it with
her rejection.
In the story, “Can I Wash off the
Shame”, a young girl flounders in her academic performance at the board
exams. She is ashamed of her failure to meet her parents’ expectations, but
doesn’t expect them to reject her so harshly. Almost crushed by the cruel
remarks of her mother, she withdraws into her own safe space, seeking solace in
a meaningless ritual.
The story, “Fragrance of
Dried Flowers”, has a dissatisfied mother who constantly nags and
criticizes her daughter for not being pretty and homely. However, when a crisis
strikes, this same ordinary daughter comes to her rescue. She helps her mother
heal – both in body and mind. Her mother introspects and finds her own stance
too harsh and judgmental.
“Needles” is the story
of a boy who has the urge to dress up in feminine clothes and practice
Mohiniyattam moves. He faces his strict mother’s wrath, and after a
particularly bitter altercation, leaves home in a huff. Will that mother be
able to forgive herself if some mishap occurred to her son? She realizes that
societal approval doesn’t supersede parental love. As a mother, her concern for
her child and his well-being must overpower bias or judgement.
When a mother faces a crisis
in her life, her daughter takes over her role. She mothers her parent, nurtures
her and brings back her zest in life. This interchangeable role between mother
and daughter is a recurring theme in my stories, and also comes in “Broken
Mirrors”.
A subdued, powerless mother
can’t fight for her daughter’s yearning, but she supports her silently,
cheering from the background. This theme runs in “And She Smiled Again.”
When her daughter can follow her heart’s desire, the mother smiles tears of
joy.
A mother heals her broken
children back to wholeness, but she is also prone to societal conditioning, to error
of judgement. Her mental barriers, age-old notions, biases can often come in
the way of supporting her child wholeheartedly. Yet, her smile, her touch can
heal like no one can. So, a mother needs to heal and love herself, before she
can extend that kind of love to her offspring.
The book has nine stories that
are relatable, and full of nuggets of insight and wry humour. The writing style
is simple and appeals to readers across ages.
Why I Wrote it?
As a mother, I am both
terrified as well as elated at the world that my daughter will inherit. A world
that is so violent, so ugly, so selfish, yet so complex and beautiful at the
same time. It is a world that has changed beyond recognition within my lifetime,
and will change even further.
How will our coming generation
cope? Will they be crushed by the pressure of conforming to norms, traditions,
and age-old expectations? Or will they evolve into more accepting, inclusive,
non-judgmental individuals, each with their unique voice?
We live in an imperfect world,
peopled with flawed, fragile, imperfect people struggling to come to terms with
their reality and identity.
Yet, when nobody is prefect,
why do we keep huge expectations from other people, particularly those whom we
love the most – like our progeny? As parents, is our relationship with our
child empowering them to face the world with confidence? Are we doing our role
as their cheerleaders? That is the idea behind my penning these stories.
The mother-daughter
relationship is so pure, so beautiful, so empowering, yet so fraught with
inherent critical judgement. The burden of generational trauma - inherited by a
mother, can almost ruin her daughter.
When the over-critical mother nags
her daughter, is she repeating a pattern her mother did? Her daughter resents
her taunts and bickering, again typical of young people rejecting conventional
ideas. Both remain unhappy and resentful of each other. It takes a
life-altering event to bring them closer.
Around us, we see so many
parents denouncing their children, calling them harsh names, yet, have they
tried to put themselves in their child’s shoes? A parent often forgets that she
herself was once in that fluid stage of life. Her positive support to her child
and genuine empathy can end the cycle of generational trauma - once and for
all, and pave the way for a brighter, happier tomorrow.
Gender identity can be fluid
and ever-evolving, but conventional parents demand conformity. That is the
reason we see so much struggle behind children coming out as gay, lesbian or
transsexual. Times have come when the mother needs to stand up to societal
judgement and support her child, whatever the gender they wish to adopt.
Mothers generally follow a
pattern, a script their own mother had followed, a role written for them by
society. It is time to come out of someone else’s idea of a perfect life. We
are all trying the best we can, each mother needs to remind herself. Let’s just
prioritize being happy, kind and humane.
Readers who seek meaning and
depth in life can resonate with my stories. These stories speak of real people,
of easy-to-identify situations that most of us have faced at least once in our
life. The lived-in reality of people’s existence is the subject of my stories.
These candid stories strike a
chord of empathy and resonate in the reader’s mind. My first book, Pebbles
in the Sand, was well appreciated by readers across all ages.
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