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Bollywood movies are coming of age, it seems, if the latest offerings are anything to go by. "Nil Batte Sannata", "Neerja", "Kapoor and Sons" and now Dear Zindagi. Slice of life films with a solid story-line, believable situations and stellar acting. Gauri Shinde, who had earlier directed the gem "English Vinglish", comes up with another winner, this time focusing her lens on the trials and tribulations of a yuppie cinematographer, grappling with issues like parental neglect in childhood and commitment phobia at present. The whole gamut of fears that plague the "now" generation is highlighted in "Dear Zindagi". Loneliness, addiction to technology and the resultant isolation in actual life, the need to always act in a certain way, emotional vacuum, fear of building relationships, the protagonist faces all these and more. The film is path breaking in the sense that for the first time, the confused and vulnerable heroine is s...

October has come and gone. And so have Durga Puja, Kali Pujo, Diwali, and all the festivals we keep waiting for all year. They all came in a row last month and with the month ending, we are left feeling quite empty and exhausted. Festivals are known to take away the drudgery of our daily lives, of livening up our humdrum existence by bringing friends and kin together, and celebrating in joy. One eagerly awaits this welcome change from daily routine, when we happily stretch our energies and capabilities and live it up to the hilt. No one minds the extra work spent in cleaning and sprucing up homes. No one grudges you the money spent on buying clothes, shoes, accessories, et al. No one minds the lack of rest and order during festivals. The main point is to enjoy yourselves and bid a firm goodbye to worries and problems, at least for the time being. And now that the festivals are over, all our problems and troubles come back to haunt us with a vengeance. The boring humdrum monotony...

Saw the latest Hindi film "Pink" that is making waves with its powerful message of a woman's "NO meaning NO". What a powerful film with a super strong message of women's empowerment! The film shows its three leading ladies as flawed, real, erring persons, who made the grave mistake of befriending some louts who later try to act fresh with them. The girls are harassed in all ways possible and later dragged to court by these hoodlums. They manage to fight their case with the help of a maverick lawyer, and emerge victorious, though shaken after some ruthless questioning on their morals and characters. The film reflects reality both in the form of the attitude of the average man on the street and the new generation woman, who is not afraid to mix, laugh, and share a drink with strangers. The boys feel that the girls have invited trouble for themselves with their clothes and behaviour. That, unfortunately, is the general mindset of most men in India, however...

What is it like when a loved one leaves the world leaving you lonely? How incarcerating is the pain and loss? How does one cope with these feelings of being left bereft and empty? Unless you face such a situation where you have lost a parent you will never realize what it feels like. Without that umbrella on your head, how lost one feels. When there is no one to confide in, or seek advice from. But time, as they say, heals everything. If not heal, at least it blunts all scars and wounds, and clouds painful memories. You still grieve and mourn, but slowly forget that searing pain and loss. You cover up the void with other things and activities. Slowly that person's place is taken by someone else, and you learn to live without that person. Perhaps that is life. And that is what life teaches us....to flow like a river, gathering memories and replacing experiences. And prodding on no matter what.

Much has been said about changing the education system in India, but the ground realities have not changed even slightly. Till today, we have the learning by rote system, and regular examinations to test how much one can learn by mugging up or memorizing. The focus is still on how much a child can score using his/her memory and not any other factor. Native intelligence, every child's strength and individual qualities, all these are blissfully ignored in the this rat race to earn more and more marks. Schools may give lip service to all-round development of a child, but ultimately they felicitate those with the highest marks. Academic brilliance, rather the ability to score more numbers, is the single most important criteria of evaluating a child's worth in most schools. What about average students? What about slow learners? No one thinks about them, as they are pushed and forced to earn marks to prove their worth. If a child fails to pass her exams or has to repeat a year...

A private hospital in Ahmedabad, India has announced that it will waive the medical fees involved in childbirth at their hospital if the newborn is a girl. WOW! Great move. Hospital authorities say that they have seen families wait expectantly and rejoice at the birth of a male child, while the birth of a baby girl is met with stoic acceptance. (Common scenario in India). They wanted to encourage people to celebrate the birth of a female child. What better way to do so than give a financial sop for the same. It took a private hospital to come up with such an innovative idea, while the government gives lip service to the cause of female empowerment. Why can't all government owned hospitals across the country do the same? This would be a spur to change the skewed ratio between men and women in most Indian states. Of course, female empowerment is happening by bits and pieces in India. One encouraging step is the doing away of the provision of a father's name in the passport o...

One of the fall-outs of an increasingly uncertain business scenario and 24/7 global connectivity at the workplace is the pressure to overwork on employees, to stretch work hours beyond the normal schedule . Companies are actually guilty of encouraging the culture of overwork, as somewhere along the way, working more has been confused with working well . Executives willingly stretch their workdays and work well into midnight, assuming they are building their careers with the hard work they are putting in. Actually, they are messing up their health and social lives, while putting everything else, except work, on the back-burner. Working long hours damages our health, productivity, and family life . Overwork has been found to be the number one cause for work-related health disorders like stress, fatigue and exhaustion. Lack of sleep and relaxation has led many to develop psychiatric problems like anxiety, depression, sleep disorders as well. At the individual level it causes eno...

Online shopping has become the preferred mode of shopping for most urban folk today. People prefer to shop at various e-sites owing to the convenience and range of products these offer. Most e-tailers like Amazon and Flipkart, who are top of the game, deliver on their promises and provide prompt and efficient service. But what about the lesser known players? They advertise products and service aggressively, but leave a large gap as far as delivery and quality are concerned. One of the main benefits of online shopping is the sense of eagerness, of expectation of receiving the product within a reasonable time. If the time stretches to an inordinate long period, the sense of eagerness is replaced slowly by frustration and disgust. Shoppers tend to lose patience and curse the site for not meeting their expectations. Online shopping sites must keep this in mind while promising the earth to shoppers. On-time prompt delivery is a MUST, and not an optional benefit they offer. Yes, they ...

A child playing with balloons suddenly burst one. Instead of crying or complaining, she simply tied up the balloon into a knot and made a ring from it. She used her creativity to change an unpleasant situation to her advantage. Why is it that children can still be creative and innovative, while as adults we only look for set solutions to problems instead of thinking out of the box? Perhaps it is the years of conditioning and conformation to rules that smother our creativity. Creativity is the mother of all new ideas and innovation. It is that bright spark that leads to development of revolutionary techniques and path-breaking inventions. Breakthroughs in science and technology owe their origins to the creative genius of some people. Just think what would have happened had not Microsoft founder Bill Gates create the popular Windows software? Or what we would have done without the invention of the smart phone or Bluetooth devices? Obviously these devices have originated from t...

The sea at Puri, Orissa, India, has a mind of its own. Attempting to bathe in these waters, specially at high tide, requires a lot of intrepid energy. For one, you go all spruced up to have a good bath in the sea, towel in hand, sunglasses and hat in place, and leggings all curled up. And then gingerly step into the water, testing it, so to speak. And no sooner you are near the waves, a huge one comes all of a sudden and overpowers you with all its fury and might. You don't know where to look, what to hold on to. You are totally, completely overpowered, and thrown out of gear. Out goes your composure and balance! Floundering in the rush of the waves, you clutch on to dear life by somehow grabbing some sand, or whatever solid is near you. The fury of waves is such that you are totally compelled to succumb to its might. Nothing, repeat nothing, prepared you for such an experience. If there is an overwhelming experience then this is it. It is a worthwhile experience, one...

The easiest thing in life is to wallow in self pity and blame fate for all the bad things that happen to us. Because that way we get an escape route from taking responsibility for the way our lives shape up. We can say "Oh it is my fate, just my bad destiny, etc." But if you really want to change your destiny, you must do something about it yourself. Yes, I know that you cannot totally change your destiny, but you can certainly try to better it. Even fate helps those who help themselves. What you can do to improve your luck: Take responsibility for self betterment. Most of our problems are due to the faults in our own personalities, so if we try to make ourselves better, our luck will also look up. Change your attitude or mindset. If we cannot change things we can at least change our way of looking at them. Try to see the positive side of things. Learn from failure. Accept things as they are. You will see the difference it makes to your peace of mind. Try to reach ...

Recently, I was travelling in the AC coach of a train with my family, and had to suffer the whims of my co-passengers. There was a large family of about six adults and six children crammed in a 3 AC coach and they made noise equivalent to 20 -30 people. The children were misbehaving and shrieking and the adults made no attempt to quieten them. At 12 in the night, they were merrily shouting, complaining and feasting, when I had to remind them of the time and of the fact that all of us were trying to get some sleep. On our return journey too, we faced people talking loudly into their mobiles at odd hours and disturbing the peace of the journey. This got me thinking. When will we Indians learn to respect the space of our fellow countrymen? We routinely go ahead enjoying ourselves at the expense of others, often totally ignoring the inconvenience of people around us. It seems they don't exist at all so long as they don't interfere with our idea of fun. Personal space? What...

We all love to watch baby actors enacting various roles on screen. So sweet, we exclaim, when they charm us with their baby innocence and childlike acting. Hollywood films ET, the Peter Pan series films, Baby's Day Out, Home Alone, Paper Moon, Sixth Sense, and closer home in Hindi cinema, Masoom, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Main Aisa Hi Hoon, Bajrangi Bhaijan,wouldn't have been the same without their cherubic angels stealing our hearts. But what about the child actors thrust under the limelight at such a young age? How do they cope with the loss of their childhood innocence and their freedom to enjoy the little joys of life? We know for a fact that Hollywood star Drew Barrymore resented her being forced into stardom at such a young age. MacCaulay Kulkin became a maladjusted adult when he grew up. So many Hindi child stars could not retain their stardom as adults and slipped into depression and anonymity. How does the child cope with the glare of the harsh arc lights day in and day...

“You are so clumsy…can’t do anything properly!” “What a fool you have made of yourself!” “I knew you couldn’t do it. What a loser you are!” “She/he is so beautiful/intelligent/smart/successful. And look at you? A complete zero.” Do these statements sound familiar? Rings a bell, doesn’t it? I think you will recognize them as some things you have told yourself at some time or other. Yes, these are a part of the self-talk we carry on all the time with our self in our minds. Communication within our mind is unfortunately mostly on these patterns. Self depreciating, criticizing, accusatory, our talk with ourselves is never encouraging. This is primarily because most of us suffer from poor self images. Low self confidence and constant comparison with others are a deadly cocktail we brew in our minds, leading us to be unduly harsh on ourselves. Can you remember when was the last time you actually patted yourself on your back for something? Chances are long back or never....

Really liked Nil Batte Sannata, a Hindi film I saw recently with my relatives. After a long time there was a film that all of us really enjoyed and warmed up to - everybody from me to my eight year old niece. Though the film attempts to convey the rather serious message of girls' education, it does not come across as heavy handed or dull. Laced with witty humour and stellar acting, the film is an entertaining watch. Almost everybody acts well, and convincingly. The pace is just right. The director, Ashwini Iyer Tiwari, keeps a tight grip on the proceedings, delivering the message with gentle sarcasm and humour. Image source: www.india.com A carefree, willful teenager rebelling against her mother's constant nagging to study and become somebody, is something most adolescents would identify with. The fact that the mother is a single parent, working as a maid in people's homes and sweating it out to secure her daughter's future, is something the girl hardly cares ab...

MBA – the tag spells magic! Or so thought the thousands of hopefuls joining one of the innumerable management institutes in the country. Till a few years back it was the ultimate key to a lucrative career in the corporate world. Today the MBA cookie has crumbled, leaving behind shattered dreams and sluggish careers for many. For the past few decades, an MBA degree from a reasonably well known management education  institute was considered good enough to guarantee a prestigious job in a reputed organization. A student knew that if he/she had moderately good communication and presentation skills, coupled with high CGPAs, chances of being secure career-wise were high. Institutes basked in the glory of affiliations and accreditations to national and international universities, and boasted of 100% placements in MNCs and blue-chips. This, in turn, ensured a steady flow of hopefuls to the MBA and BBA courses run by these institutes. Things have changed, with the shrinking of j...

There are Bengalis and there are Bengalis. On the day after the Bengali New Year - Poila Boisakh, let me dissect a few for my own enjoyment. The "Hocche Bangali": It is a mock title given to those pretenders to the role of the true-blue Bengali, those who are the "probashi" or non-resident Bengali. These guys are distinguished by their propensity to add a "Hocche" to every sentence, a replacement to the Hindi "hai". They are also marked by their affinity towards the places they have lived all their lives in, and the cultures that they have adopted over the Bengali culture. They prefer, horror of horrors, to speak in Hindi at home, call their sons "Beta", and like to eat rotis over rice and fish. Their language is spiked with Hindi words, much to the indignation of their West Bengal home-grown counterparts. They also sometimes go without fish for days, something the average Bengali cannot imagine. The "Bheto Banagali": ...

At last we have a hero who is lazy, loves to eat, slothful and totally chilled out. Plus he is also doubtful about his own powers! Can it get more human than that? Kung Fu Panda, the lovable bear who loves hogging noodles and dim sum, is as laid back as they come. Thrust into greatness, he reluctantly becomes the leader of the pack. Now he has to fight it out with a demonic Ka who combines the energies of all the masters. So how does he do it? Simple. By being himself, and channelizing his innate chi. He builds up an army of pandas all excelling in what they can do best. Even dim sum popping gets to become a talent in itself! Armed with his unique brand of street smartness and native intelligence, he defeats Ka at his own game. Of course, all the while being aided by his army of pandas. Kung Fu Panda tells us to believe in ourselves, and to be ourselves. It celebrates frailty, weakness, sloth and vulnerability. No need to be invincible, it tells us, just be human. Rejoice in bei...

There are times when I just don't feel like working. Just feel like vegetating or relaxing. When the few steps to the kitchen or to the work station seem like a hundred miles. Or just picking up the laptop and opening a file seems a cumbersome task. Yes, I am sure you face such situations too. Mental or physical lethargy is quite common, and more debilitating than people care to admit. I would like to share with you what I do to counter that oh-so-much-work-why-should-I-even-start feeling. I just sit and let that moment pass. Doing nothing for a while spurs me, and then I want to do something. Letting your mind do nothing is also necessary. I check my LinkedIn/Facebook feed. This is where I get new content ideas from. I take a break and chat on WhatsApp, This is a guilty pleasure that I indulge in once too often, only to realize that I have better things to do :(( I look at my plants or just take a stroll around. Or I stand in the balcony staring outside. This d...

Had the opportunity to see a splendid Hindi film: Neerja. It is based on the actual incident of a hijack of a Pan Am aircraft back in 1986, and the exemplary heroism displayed by the eponymous character, Neerja, airhostess of the same flight. While the story is stuff that modern legends are made of, the way it has been re-created on screen deserves special mention. The director avoids any overt attempts to invoke sentimentalism or melodrama. In a quiet, realistic way, he shows how an ordinary fight purser turns into a model of courage in the face of fire. Neerja is no swashbuckling hero, she is an ordinary girl recovering from a traumatic past and looking forward to a bright future. A happy-go-lucky person, her metamorphosis into a rock of grit and bravery is what the film focuses on. The film uses flashbacks to show glimpses of her happy childhood and consequently, her troubled marriage, and juxtaposes these images with those of the gun-toting, brutal, abusive terrorists. We ge...

A few days back I was going through old photos of my daughter. How cute and chubby she looked when she was a toddler! And how sweet with two front teeth missing, as a six year old. And look how tall she had grown when she was nine! Old photographs give us a glimpse into the moments lost to us in time. They make us relive those times by transporting us to that period. We can almost feel what we felt at that time. Coming back to the passage of time, and how my child has grown up, there have been some noticeable changes over the years, though they happened slowly. For eg.,in the things that are now passe, like: A switch from Disney and Cartoon Network channel shows to Colors and Sony Pal channels Graduating from reading fairy tales to Famous Five and Sherlock Homes  Tape frocks - out, pyjamas, t-shirt - in Frilly party frocks - out, jeans/palazzos, top - in Playing with dolls has been replaced with gossiping with the girl gang on phone Flipping through fashion, movies ...

Leadership behavior and qualities are not limited to any particular stratum, level or profession. These can be evidenced in any role, in any category of people, in any situation. So a salesgirl may exhibit leadership qualities as may a newspaper vendor, a housewife as may a college student, a bus conductor as may a company executive. It is very difficult to put a finger on what exactly makes a good leader, as many leaders are very different from each other in terms of personality and traits. For example, if we consider a powerful personality as an essential characteristic of a leader, then why did millions of Indians follow Mahatma Gandhi willingly when he urged them to adopt non-violence means of protest and give up using imported goods? He had a mild personality and was extremely soft spoken. Hardly the charismatic leader one imagines a path-breaker to be. On the other hand, you have another Indian freedom fighter, Subhash Chandra Bose , a dynamic and powerful speaker, a q...

Often bloggers and writers face this question: What to write? Should we write about personal tragedies and triumphs or should we wax eloquent on general topics? Focus on the intimate or the general? Create fictional set-ups or write about real issues? Daily, we go through this dilemma, sometimes facing the writer's block, that mother of all inertia. Yes, sometimes we are actually at a loss of ideas and words. Everything seems empty and meaningless. Words seem frivolous. This happens particularly when we are going through troubled times, during personal loss or depression. And then, one fine day, we decide to write after all! Collecting our thoughts and scattered words from memories and experiences, we start weaving yarns once again. Creating fiction, writing non-fiction, playing with words, all in the day's work for us. And so we write on, whether anyone reads us or not..... 

It isn't easy to opt out of the rat race. The daily grind, the commute to and back from office, the perks and pay cheque, and lastly, the comfort of monotony, all of these are too hard to give up for most people. But some of us do give up, and opt for a different way of life. A life, where we choose how much and what work we do. Where we can balance our homes and family life with the need to prove ourselves professionally. We opt to freelance or work-from-home or work part-time.   It is not easy, trust me, to say no to lucrative jobs that demand you to be in office from 9 to 6 or more. Where you are expected to regularly travel for work and report to office on weekends. You know you have to take a call. Do you want the fat pay cheque, the regular increments and promotions, the steady rise to the top on the corporate ladder? Or do you want to spend time savouring moments of togetherness with your loved ones? Do you wish to spend the best part of your your life attending busine...

Homemakers in India are controlled by only one entity -  the kaamwali bai or the ubiquitous housemaid. India happens to be one country where manual domestic helps still run the show, unlike western countries where every chore is done through automation. We still prefer to be dependent on the daily help who comes for an hour or so, and mops, cleans and washes with machine-like efficiency. Some lucky, or unlucky ones, as you look at it, have cooks too, who come and do the cooking. And mothers of very young children, and conversely, children of very old people, have ayahs who assist in managing the babies and the infirm. I am sure that if these people stopped coming to our houses one fine day, our households would come to a standstill. In that way, you could say, they are the backbone of our domestic life. Our homes are spic and span, and we can go about our business with a free mind because of these people. Every housewife's ultimate nightmare is the moment she hears those dre...

Middle age is rather a difficult beast to deal with. Yes yes, the forties are the new thirties and all that, but the fact remains that being on the wrong side of forties has me grappling with physical and mental issues like never before. For one, your skin and hair are not what they once were. Patchiness shows up on the face, and so do fine lines on the skin. The hair is greying at an alarming rate, and thinning with equal speed. Digestive problems have cropped up from nowhere. Joints have started creaking and sending alarming painful signals from time to time. And God knows what the state of the heart, kidneys, liver etc. are. No, I have not gone for regular check-ups as advised by all medical sermons. The mind starts acting like it has its own mind. Swaying from chirpy and cool at one moment to black and filthy at the next, it becomes a challenge to keep in control. Pre-menopausal effects are here with a bang. So what's the silver lining? It is the network of relationships...